host(ess) with the most(est)

So you’re hosting a gathering this holiday season - do you have it all planned out? Some people hate to entertain while others are born for it, but if you find yourself somewhere in between, chances are you’re second guessing how to make it a memorable night. You were excited by the idea, you sent the invites out, and now you’re left to wonder - how should I set the table? What music should I play? What should I serve? Do I ask people to bring food or drinks, or handle it all myself? How do I get people to leave once I’m ready to go to bed?

Here are some pointers to making a memorable gathering for your guests and an enjoyable host experience for you (because it’s just as important that you remember a joyful evening as it is for your guests):

1. Before the night even begins

   Call on your bestie, your partner, or whomever offered to help in the group text, and assign them as co-host for the evening. This is your party and you should enjoy it too! Divvy up the tasks of making sure drinks stay topped off and the food stays warm, plates are being washed as people finish eating and counters wiped down once folks move from the kitchen into the cozier parts of the house.

2. Tablescaping/decor

   First, decide whether you’re going minimal or maximal - then commit. For a maximal style, don’t shy away from mixing up table settings (thrifted vintage glassware and decorative plates alongside contemporary hand thrown serveware? Go for it!). Add pops of color with candles, pedestals, serving dishes, napkins, and add some layers with taper candles and flowers. In other words, have fun with it and don’t over think it.

   For minimal, matching settings, napkins, and neutral serving dishes are all a safe bet. Lay down a neutral (white, grey, black) tablecloth and accessorize with a few minimal scent-free candles or tea lights. For some drama, add a branchy centerpiece.

   Whatever direction you go in - always use cloth napkins!! It’s 2022 people.

3. What to serve

   Don’t assume everyone will like your grandma’s famous stuffing recipe or your uncle’s spatchcocked turkey. Make sure you have something for everyone on the table - here’s a quick checklist:

   1. Drinks - Wine, Bourbon, Sparkling Water, Lager, Angostura bitters (to make an easy, tasty non-alcoholic beverage for your sober friends)

   2. Food - Meat, vegetarian options (consider a vegetarian stuffing or gravy for the requisite mashed potatoes), vegan and gluten free options (salads, roasted vegetables, etc)

   3. Dessert - next to that all-butter pie crust should be a dairy-free sweet treat

4. What to do post-dinner

   No one should want to rush out after a good, filling dinner. Unless you want everyone perusing your bookshelves 1 by 1, you better have something for people to do to keep the night moving along. The easiest is a card game - rummy, uno and farmer’s poker are all good choices for some light competition and easy conversation while the game is going. Up the ante with charades (people still play that right?) or pictionary for anyone who isn’t so full that they can’t move around.

5. Music

   There must always be music, and it must be loud enough. Invest in a speaker with enough range to fill up the rooms you’ll be occupying before your gathering. There are two types of music you need to consider for your gathering. The first is the most important, the one that will set the tone and groove throughout the evening. Consider something low-key sophisticated like Charlie Parker, or more upbeat and conversational, like an Ethiopiques album or Fela Kuti artist radio on Shopify.

   The second type is the one you’ll switch to when you’re ready for people to start leaving. Don’t make it obvious! Go with something slow and melancholy, sleepy and sad-introspective, like Triplicate by Bob Dylan. Maybe that’s obvious, and you might run the risk of someone taking control of the music to show off their own taste, but send that signal how you see fit. We all need our rest when it comes calling.

6. Non-eating areas

   Last but not least, add a touch of elegance to the spaces where guests will go that don’t revolve around eating. Keep a candle burning in the bathroom and living room so the place remains fresh and welcoming before and after the wafts of dinner dissipate. Invest in some nice hand soap and lotion to keep in your kitchen and bathroom so guests hands aren’t suffering from harsh dryness throughout the gathering.

Gatherings are meant to be fun, not stressful - so whatever you do, remember to keep your mind right by staying prepared and letting go of anything you didn’t have a chance to get to. Taking a bath the night before and the night after can help to prep and reset from the event’s energy. Good luck and have fun!